I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
