Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
if i died would you start the facebook group?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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