if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize