My nipple is on Facebook.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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