Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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