I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I had to cum in my sink.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
