sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
