You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
