420 ftw
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
