As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
