good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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