my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
