At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
