I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Randomize
