This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
