u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
