The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
