Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
