please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
