Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
