My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
