If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just want to make out with him forever
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
