I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
