I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize