Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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