worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
