you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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