im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
