he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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