Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
