just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
