i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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