Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
