I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize