So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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