Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
