I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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