Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
BRING THE BAGELS
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
