hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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