Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
