i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
