she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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