My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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