She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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