How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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