how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
