Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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