i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
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