I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
