at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
