meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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