Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
MIDGETS
????
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize