Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
