talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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