Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
