..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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